You are good enough for me, am I good enough for you?


Christmasday 2014, By Leda — Once everything needed perfection. I needed to be ‘ perfect’ before I could have a relationship. It were my own ‘ prisons’ I build. My own walls. Is it self-love when you think you need to be ‘ perfect’ before someone can ‘ love you’, or you are worthed to be his grilfriend? Is it ‘love’ from him, if he only wants you when you are ‘ perfect’? And second, ‘ what is perfect’? I used to need the great producer job, my hair needed to be done perfectly, my money needed to be perfectly in balance, I needed to be ‘ addiction’ free, depression free, not allowed to cry, not allowed to have a dirty house, not allowed to be ‘ me’. So how could I ever attract anyone who was able to love me, if I did not myself?

I do not care if my house is a ‘little’ unorganized. If I walk with my glasses on and my pyama in the house. I know I am ‘pretty’ within 15 minutes, if I have to. Even without doing anything, I basically just not care. Yes, I can be depressed, obsessed, addictive, I have ADD, I am Highly sensitive, I write like an insane person articles, poems and books. I sing everyday in the house, my handbag is a mess, I can be very emotional, I can cry out of nothing. I can laugh out of nothing. I do not cheat, I do not lie, I would never touch another man. Yes, I can be flirtatious. Yes, I sometimes like attention. In a word, in a ‘like’, in a conversation. Who does not? Yes, sometimes I shut down my telephone and everything down for weeks. Yes, I hate doing the dishes, and I will never like it. Yes, sometimes i Live for months without alcohol and a cigarette, yes, sometimes I want to forget all that, for a day. This is life, this is being ‘ real’. You cannot ever have a real, loving relationship with anyone, if you just cannot be ‘ yourself’.

I want to be ‘ myself’. I know in life, it will never be ‘ perfect’. I do not have to wait for someone to love me, someone that wants a relationship, when I am ‘ perfect’. I am. Now. No matter what I am ‘ now’. I am good enough.
No matter how I act, how I act tomorrow, what happens tomorrow. Today I love myself, and I love you. I am commited in my heart and soul, no matter how hard the winds blows, how deep the waves of the ocean bring me. I can go left and right, but I am always aware of the truth that my heart will speak.

Maybe we must have been meeting in the middle of all imperfection in our lives. Time and time again. To remember, we were always perfect. This is love. This is opening up your heart, no matter how the outside world looks like, or even ‘ inside us’. Maybe we must have met in ‘ the dark’, to see there is light in every dark: Love. See how perfect Love can be in a world of imperfections and dark. Maybe we have to learn we are good enough, even in the situations of ‘ imperfection’.
Maybe life wants us to see love is stronger then this.

Love all your Imperfections, because that is ‘ perfection’ to me. Your Imprefection is more perfect, then what most people ‘ perfect’ consider to be. Let us laugh together, cry together, be depressed together, walk in pyama’s together in the house, sleep the whole day and do nothing. Watch spiritual movies, cartoons, do a meditation, take a walk in the forrest, discuss, arguments, love, tears, call the pizza delivery-man, cook ourselves, say nothing for a whole day and let each other in our own space: This is Life. This is transparant love. The perfection in being imperfect. Being Human. Being a soul that is never finished learning.

Are you good enough now, for yourself?

Because I am good enough, and you were and are always good enough.

Any moment, always.

– By Leda,